


This Love Came Back to Me

by hurtleturtle



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-25 23:39:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4981261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurtleturtle/pseuds/hurtleturtle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The five times that made Carmilla fall in love with Laura, and the one time that made her realize she would love Laura forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Love Came Back to Me

**Author's Note:**

> So I've always liked the stories that are "5 times this... and the 1 time that" so I figured I'd give it a try. I also had fun playing around with 2nd person perspective. Enjoy!

**One**.

  
You’ve spent most of your life obeying your mother, pushing thoughts of the consequences to the back of your mind. It’s easier that way. It’s easier if you can just convince yourself that you don’t care. Which is why your new roommate is getting so annoying. She’s so determined to figure out what happened to her roommate, and you know that she’s just going to end up getting herself killed. After all, that’s the reason you’re her new roommate.

  
But despite your apathy, and your attempts to bully the silly creampuff out of her little investigation, she’s still pursuing it. You hate to admit it, but you do kind of admire her commitment. You’re pretty sure that you were never that optimistic, but even if you had been, it had been at least 300 years.

  
She’s on another one of her tirades––her response to yet another of your attempts to discourage her. You drown most of what she says out, because you’d rather listen to your own thoughts anyway. You’ve got more than 300 years to her 19, so it’s not like she’ll actually change your mind about anything anyway. But then she says something that catches your attention.

  
“... I deserve better; Betty deserves better; hell, even you deserve better.” She turns with a huff back to her laptop.

  
You want to ignore her, but instead you raise an eyebrow, surprised. You can’t remember the last time someone so much as implied that you were actually worth something. You had mattered to your family––but then you were murdered. You had mattered to Ell––until your mother turned her against you. Your only value in hundreds of years of life was your ability to lure young girls into your mother’s trap. So hearing your roommate––your obstinate, naive roommate––tell you that you deserve better gives you pause. Maybe this girl isn’t so bad after all.

 

**Two**.

  
You’ve had the craziest few months of your life––and that’s saying something, given that you’re a 334 year old vampire. It’s all thank to your new roommate, who just poured blood into your mouth; who brought you back to the world just when you thought you were finally going to escape it. But vampires aren’t that easy to kill. And you have to admit, you’re happy to see her––more than happy. _Laura_. Who you spent the entire semester trying to protect. You just killed your mother for her, and almost died while doing it.

  
Now you’re back, and she’s hugging you, and your heart is beating a little faster (even though it didn’t really need to), and you’re standing up, and you’re stepping into her space. You pause, waiting to see if she’ll flinch away, but your lips are mere inches from hers, and you’ve wanted to do this for so long, and she doesn’t flinch away from you, but she won’t stop talking, and before you really even have time to think about it, you’re kissing her. Your lips fit perfectly against hers, and when you feel her hands run down your arms, goosebumps erupt across your skin.

  
It’s a short kiss, and Laura starts talking again as you pull away. So you kiss her again––two quick kisses. And Laura lets out a tiny squeal of excitement that makes your stomach flip in the best way imaginable. You smile as you pull away, and you’re still smiling when you feel Laura’s hand at the back of your head as she pulls you in for another kiss.

  
Your whole world has been flipped upside down, but it doesn’t matter, because you have Laura, and as long as she’s kissing you, and you get to hold her, you think that you could spend the rest of your very long life like this.

 

**Three**.

  
You’re a little annoyed that you’ve had to spend the last few weeks fleeing campus with the ginger twins in tow. If it was just you and Laura, this could have been a _lot_ more fun. But with the gingers along, you didn’t have any time to spend alone with Laura. You’re starting to think that you might never get to kiss her again.

  
When you take shelter in a diner, you’re glad for the chance to relax for a bit. Maybe you’ll finally get the chance to cozy up to Laura again. At least that would make the christmas sweater a little bit more worthwhile.

  
You try to pretend that it doesn’t bother you when Laura gets upset that you attacked the mayor. Sure, it wasn’t the best choice you’ve made, but you _are_ a vampire, and you just wish Laura could remember that. Soon, you’re sitting with Laura, and she’s leaning into your side, and you’re content again. But the diner feels off, and the sudden appearance of Mama Claus doesn’t do much to make you feel better. Unfortunately, Laura’s not listening to you, and when you snatch the suspect cookie from her hand, she gets annoyed and goes off to join the other two at the bar.

  
When Laura finally realizes what’s going on, and Mama Claus starts to advance on her, you remain seated and look away. You would never let anything hurt her, of course. You’re just annoyed because she can be so stubborn about pretty much everything.

  
When she asks for help, you sigh and say, “Oh really? Cause I wouldn’t want to ruin your holiday fun… what with all my mayor-biting and talk of murdering people for Christmas.”

  
When Laura shouts back, “Murder her for Christmas! Murder her for Christmas!” you can’t help but smile as you slide out of the booth, and shift into your panther form. She might not always like some of your more vampiric decisions, but you know that she likes you anyway. After Ell, you were afraid that no one could ever care for you again, not if they knew your true nature. But Laura seems to be changing things.

 

**Four**.

  
You’ve been growing so tired of hearing Laura talk about you like you’re some kind of hero. It was nice, at first, but you’ve known all along that you were no hero. You were just falling for the girl, and you did what you needed to do to save her. Because, like she’d told you, she deserved better than that. But now, you’re starting to feel like she never would have fallen for you if you _hadn’t_ saved her. You’re no hero, and you hate the idea that Laura was just some prize for you to earn.

  
But when she says that she wants to talk to you about it, you sigh and tell her that you don’t need to.

  
“I think maybe it is,” Laura replies. “Cause, do I think what you did was brave and amazing? Of course I do. But is it my reason for liking you?” Laura lists some of the things you’ve done, and you feel better, but there’s still a hollow feeling in your heart. But then she says something that surprises you. “I think I was falling for you right from that stupid Zeta party.”

  
You raise your eyebrows, and turn to look at her. You feel better, and you don’t feel warm and fuzzy, but at least you feel like things are okay. “You mean the one where you ambushed me? And accused me of kidnapping?” You ask. You’re not angry––although the experience was embarrassing, you’ve learned to laugh about it.

  
“I was… you know, terrified that you planned to eat me,” Laura says. You can’t help but smile. You _may_ have been planning on eating her, but certainly not in the way that she had thought. You automatically lean towards her as she sits next to you, and the smile remains on your face as she says, “I am a little disappointed that we never got our chance to stargaze and drink champagne.”

  
That’s all it takes for you to feel content again. You know that there’s a solarium on the roof, and champagne in the basement, and you’re already thinking of all the things that could happen as the night goes on. Then Laura’s leaning towards you, and her head is tilted, and all you want is to kiss her. So you do, moving slowly before you press your lips to her. You could keep kissing her forever, but instead you pull back, watching Laura as she leans towards you and raises her hand to cup your jaw. Your heart skips a beat––you love these moments. It’s why you always pull away from the kiss first. You love when she could decide to kiss you again or not, and she just leans towards you like she needs it just as much as you do.

  
Then she stands up, pulling her cardigan off as she does. And her chest is right next to your ear, and you smile as you hear her heart beating a little bit faster than usual––she’s excited. She whispers that she’ll race you, and you grin, turning to the camera she uses to satisfy her urge to document everything. You know it will make her laugh when she edits it later. As you take off, grabbing champagne and glasses from the basement, and still passing Laura on your way to the roof, you realize that you feel light––almost buoyant. You realize that you might actually be in love.

 

**Five**.

  
You’re not quite sure how you got to this point. After the break-up, and everything that had happened since, you’re not sure how you ended up playing Senet in the middle of the night with the girl you’d fallen so hard for. You can’t explain it, but it doesn’t matter. You’re just glad to have her back, even if it’s not really what you want. And you hate to admit it, but as she moves her chips across the board, gloating despite the fact that she didn’t follow the right rules, you’re struck by just how adorable she is.

  
You don’t know why you’re being so distant, but when Laura asks if drinking the anglerfish’s blood would have killed you, your voice is flat as you say, “I don’t know. Would you care?”

  
The look that she gives you is almost enough to break your heart. You look away, but look back when she talks. “How can you say that? You think I hid you here after everything because I don’t care? Because the thought of something happening to you doesn’t make me feel like I can’t breath?”

  
You just stare at her, but you feel like your heart is doing flips in your chest. You’ve spent over 300 years being constantly reminded that you don’t matter. But here’s Laura, this girl who made you feel loved for the first time, reminding you yet again that she cares about you, even after everything. You can practically feel yourself softening as she says, “And I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel around you or what I’m supposed to do because––”

  
She never finishes her sentence, because you lean towards her, and your hand is in her hair, and there’s barely an inch of space between you, and suddenly she closes the space between you, and her hand moves to your head. You’re holding each other like you’ve been apart for years, and you need to feel each other again. You don’t know how long that moment will last, but you enjoy it while you have it, because even after everything, you still think you love this girl, and nothing else matters when you’re with her.

 

**Six.**

  
You can’t believe that you’re actually here, kneeling on the floor of your mother’s living room, your head bowed as you wait for death––true death, this time. At this point though, you don’t care. Your mother is dead. Will is dead. Mattie is dead––thanks, in no small part, to Laura. Despite all that, you came. She asked you to help, and like a fool, you came. And now you’re about to die, and Laura doesn’t even seem to care. You can’t believe you were stupid enough to love this girl.

  
You drown out Vordenberg’s rambling. If you’re going to die, you’d rather listen to your own thoughts than that man’s ridiculousness. But when he says that you should have married his great grandfather, you can’t help but laugh.

  
“I prefer dying,” you say. As last words go, you think they’re not too bad. As Vordenberg forces your head down, you feel your heart sink. You’ve had a good life, sure, but you can’t believe you’re going to die in such a humiliating situation.

  
“I can’t let you do that!”

  
You’re surprised by Laura’s voice, but you’re even more surprised when you realize she’s holding the Silas Charter. The girl that you thought you loved, the girl who got your sister murdered, is almost literally holding your life in her hands.

  
As Vordenberg explains all the reasons why Laura won’t destroy the charter; won’t kill him; won’t save you, you feel your heart sink. You know that he’s right. Although you’re loath to admit it, Laura’s idealism is one of your favorite qualities about her. You’ve seen how hard she’s fought for Silas, all while trying to keep her fragile world view intact. And you know you’ve never been important enough to anyone for them to make sacrifices for you.

  
You watch Laura for as long as you can, but then you drop your gaze and wait for death. You hear the Baron whisk the sword up, over his head, and you feel strangely at peace. You know that you’re going to die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

  
But then, there’s a sharp _crack_ and you whip your head up to see Laura, the Silas Charter broken in two pieces.

  
“Oh, Schnickschnack,” you hear the Baron mutter. You hear him run from the room; you hear the screams, and you know that he is dying. But you don’t care. All you see is Laura, and you’re looking at her as though you’ve never seen her clearly until just now. She saved your life.

  
_Laura_. Laura saved you. You had been prepared to die, but Laura had killed Vordenberg, and saved your life. You hear her words echo in your head, and you realize that maybe Laura really _is_ your hero after all.


End file.
